Goodbye.

Today was my last official day as Mt Barker High's Pastoral Care Worker for 2018. 

When I walked through those doors for the first time in July 2015, I was just 19 and had no idea what I was doing, heck I had never even been to school. I remember that underneath the excitement, lay an anxiety of "What the hecken sneck was I doing?" 

There were so many doubts in my mind. But for some reason School's Ministry Group had hired me and there I was. 

Honestly, there will never be a time in my life where these years spent at Mt Barker will be regretted. Between the countless slices of toast, numerous coffee runs, hours sharing in someone's pain, sleepless nights on camps and the good ole cheeky banter, I have loved this place and will miss it.

Yet honestly, the journey of Pastoral Care has been one with it's share of pain or failure. Days where my age or life experience became an excuse, days where students where forgotten, days of compassion fatigue, days of no-one turning up at my event.  Days where I just wasn't enough, couldn't stop someone's pain.

Every journey will have pain and failure, it is not only the steps forward that we must accept. Every stumble, every trial, even the knowledge that I will fail, that we will hurt those around us, had to be accepted. But if we stop there, accepting the person we are when we fail, the journey ends. That failure becomes our destination. 

Don't get it wrong, there were days of joy, victory, authenticity, and hope. The amazing privilege to see lives transform. Deep friendships and community. All of this and more has been part of the journey too.

It is not a question of whether you will love or hurt. The question should be what will you love, and why will you hurt? This is your choice. 

Mt Barker High, it's time to say goodbye. With thanks for shaping who I have become, teaching me to love is to hurt, and to hurt means you have loved. I know I will see you around.